We celebrated the New Year at a lovely dinner party hosted by friends who live outside of the village with our ex neighbours. We all contributed to the meal, played stupid games and drank lots of champagne to say goodbye to the last decade and welcome in the new one. I wonder what the next year will bring.
If I am being honest I did not think my Mum would still be with us in 2020. Her longevity however comes with mixed feelings. I know that she would never have wanted to end up in a care home, bed bound and completely dependent on carers. I now find it difficult to recognise her as my Mum and she often has very little idea as to who I am. I find this the most difficult part of her illness. It is so sad to spend the afternoon with her only to realise that she has no idea who I am or why I am there. Her poor limbs are now twisted and useless and her only enjoyment appears to be a glass of whisky or port. However, she rarely ever complains and always tells me that she is quite comfortable when asked.
I left Robert in bed nursing a mild hangover and drove over to see Mum this morning on virtually empty roads. She was tucked up in her bed dozing when I arrived but woke up when I greeted her and wished her a Happy New Year. I put the New Years concert from Vienna on the TV – a concert I know she has always loved watching. She appeared to know who I was and was pleased with her glass of port. She also ate most of her minced up roast lamb dinner followed by chocolate mousse and chocolates.
After lunch I showed her some photos of the previous night’s celebrations including the extravagant looking pudding I had made from a pandora cake complete with a sparkler.
I have also made 2 new bears this week – one for a friend who has taken him with her to Spain!
Robert rang me on my phone and wished Mum a happy new year. She seemed to know who he was but told him that she needed to go out and take the dog for a walk!
We settled down to watch The Sound of Music on the TV . Mum appeared to really enjoy watching it and sang along to some of the songs. I reminded her that she had taken us to the cinema on the bus to see it when we were little. She couldn’t remember going but said that it must have been a long time ago. I also remember that Dad was away on business at the time and therefore didn’t go with us. ‘ he is always disappearing’ she replied. ‘ do you know where he is now?’ I told her that I didn’t but that I was sure he would be back later.
I sat with her for nearly 5 hours today – I must say I had forgotten how much I enjoyed The Sound of Music! I got up to leave and told her I was going home – she snorted as if to say – do as you like. ‘ I have been here all afternoon’ I explained. ‘Not with me, I have been in the chapel most of the afternoon,’ she replied. There really is no response to that. I kissed her good bye and set off on my journey home.